Did I cheat them?

I have been thinking alot about my kids lately! I was thinking that I had over 4 wonderful years with Marley as an only child. I look back and think that I was such a better mother then. Marley knew her ABC's before 2, slept through the night early, potty trained early and easily, and the list goes on and on. While we were raising Marley I was finishing up my schooling! I had thought that I had planed it out perfectly, you see we didn't want or kids to be so far apart. I thought I had planed it out while I was finishing my Student Teaching that Carpenter would be born right after that. Carpenter came early and my teachers were not as nice as I had wished they would be(now I see it as a God thing, then I was devastated!)! We always wanted our children close together in age. While my sister and I are 8 years apart, we have a great relationship, it was like I was a little mother whe I was little. I wanted our kids to be able to play together grow together. So Carpenter is 16 months apart from Sadie and Sadie is 20 months apart from Rowan. I love that they are close together. I mean to say that it isn't always easy loading them to places! But I love seeing them be individuals, but also showing their unity. But I often wonder, did I cheat them? You see, I don't feel like I am as fun as I used to be. Marley and I always made crafts, painted, read the Bible, memorized scripture, learned, wrote, read, played in puddles! We had fun! I just think that I don't do as much as I did with just Marley! I think I have become lazy. You see if I want to paint with the kids, which I have done, I sometimes think to myself, why bother. The clean up is going to be heck! Trying not to get paint all over! So I am going to try not to cheat them anymore, have fun, worry about messes later, and give them a happy childhood! Marley, Carpenter, Sadie, and Rowan I love you all so very much, even though we may have a larger family than some people we are still going to have a wonderful journey through life! I am promising to do my best and better!