Features

After Carpenter was born. The CMC Dr. Darby and Geneticist Dr. Geer came in and gave us a list of factors of why they thought Carpenter had down syndrome. Mostly physical features.
Some of them are:
flat facial profile
an upward slant to the eyes
small ears
a single crease across the center of the palms
an enlarged tongue
sandal gap in toes
low muscle tone

When we were first told of Carpenter's DS of course we tried to relate back to people in our family who looked like Carpenter. The few hours after the doctors visit, you over analyze the way your baby looks. And you try to see that those features are not there. After about a few minutes of that, common sense comes back and you see the features for what they are. Clearly diagnosing DS. Of course, I still prayed that he did not have DS. Honestly, at first I did pray that the results would come back negative for T-21. I did know that he did have DS. My goal changed quickly, they took Carpenter to get his blood drawn for the test. It seemed like it took forever. I wanted my baby back, to hold and cuddle, not to be taken away. (he was not eating well, little did I know that time was short of him staying with me, soon he was off to the NICU.)

My point is, those features you focused on some deeply faded away. I saw the most gorgeous baby! Really, don't tell the other's but he was my cutest! The only time the features came back to haunt me was in the worry that some ignorant soul would make fun of him. A little fear of well being set in.

A few weeks ago, I took Carpenter to see a new doctor(a new one in our large cornucopia of doctors). So we discussed Carpenter, and then he began to analyze his characteristics of DS to me. As if I didn't know them. Maybe he was examining him on the inside and his words just exited his mouth. Do all doctors do this? Can they not see who he is? He said surprisingly, that he had a normal crease in his hand. I don't know why this ate me up so much. He was a nice doctor, and I had the other two small one's with me, and it was chaotic. Has he never seen a child with DS? Was this a rare occurrence for him? We were not there about his DS. I know he probably didn't mean anything by it. I just wonder how many people just look at those features?

When I see a new baby now with DS and see those features which I was taught were abnormal, I truly love them. I love their special features. Pride wells up in my heart not sadness, joy of beauty.